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The withdrawals. Everyone in my family was a police officer, except for my grandad, who was a bank robber. He died last week. Surrounded by his family. I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shouted… "This is a stick up!" Bank robbery is a safe job.

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By: Hadlee ( 1) ( 1) My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door. COPY JOKE By: Alyson ( 1) ( 1) Why did the little old lady put her money in the freezer? - She wanted cold, hard cash. I quit my job at the bank today.

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Funny, Jokes Sep 22, 2022 Invest Your Time In Reading These 168 Banker Jokes Neilas Šurkus and Marisha Kazaryan ADVERTISEMENT In my personal experience, people make bank jokes only in two cases: they have either never taken out a loan or their relationship with the bank is so bad, there is nothing left but to laugh.

Bank Puns

1. I used to be a banker, but I lost interest. 2. Bankers are great at staying balanced. 3. Why do bankers make great fishermen? They always have plenty of net income. 4. I opened a bank account for my newborn, starting their savings with their first baby checks. 5. Why did the bank teller break up with the ATM?

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Hilarious Bank Jokes curated just for you, like: What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank? A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.) Best Bank jokes around. Enjoy all 42 of them!

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18. The bank's online banking promised convenience, but the customer's account balance was drifting like a lost ship. 19. The bank's cashiers were always up to currency jokes, but their humor often bounced like a bad check. 20. The bank's business loans had a solid foundation, but the customer's business plan was built on quicksand.

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11 3 minutes read Bank Jokes - Banks are something that people have their share of experiences with, both positive and negative. While there is a variety of experiences a person can have with the bank, there is one thing that everyone can enjoy about the bank. That is jokes related to it.

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'Oh god, my assets are liquid!' Why did the banker break up with his girlfriend? Because she showed him no interest Jay Leno went to Morgan Freeman's house and had a lot of drinks. Leno suddenly started to urinate on Freeman's carpet. Freeman was furious and ran after him as he kept on urinating.

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These money jokes and money puns will make you feel rich. If we had a dollar for every time we made someone laugh, we'd make it rain with these money jokes. I went to Bank of America to deposit.

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A local bank is introducing a cash machine built in to a tree. If it's successful, they might expand to other branches. I'm worried about the state of my bank. I tried five different ATMs today and they've all told me they have "Insufficient Funds". Was invited to the Bankers' Reunion but I lost interest.

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Leave me a loan. A man is told the local bank offers mortgages with no interest. The man enters the bank. Man: I'm here to find out about the mortgage. Employee: I don't really care. My dad always said, "Work until your bank account looks like a phone number." So I did. Account balance: $9.11.

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Headquarters. What did the nut say when it went into the bank? Give me all the cashew you have. Where do fish store their money? In the riverbank. Why did the goalkeeper have so much money in the bank? He was really good at saving My friend used to have an account in a bank at the North Pole. They froze all his assets.

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[NSFW] A rude man walks into the bank and tells the teller: "I want to open a fucking checking account."

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"Wouldn't you like to help the community?" The banker replied, "Did your research show. upvote downvote report A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting.

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The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone." 👍︎ 8k. 💬︎ 169 comments. 👤︎ u/Mama_Bear15. 📅︎ Jan 12 2021. 🚨︎ report. A robber breaks into a bank. When he arrives he sees the security guard at his desk, sobbing.

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1. Wall Street Blames The Government 3 guys walk into a bakery: an investment banker, a government employee, and a social worker. The lady behind the counter puts out a dozen cookies. Wall Street pockets 11 and tells the social worker the damn government employee is trying to steal his cookie. Check out our collection of Politically Incorrect Jokes